The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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