Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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