Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize