Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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