I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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