I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
