First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
