Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Operation Purity has been aborted
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
