I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
