I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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