i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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