Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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