yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize