just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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