he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
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