I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Randomize
