Cold hands, warm shart.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I want to fling myself into the sun
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
