doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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