sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
