Is it normal to miss your booty call?
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
