: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
