can we get nightvision for the apartment?
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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