Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
