My nipple is on Facebook.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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