Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Randomize
