woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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