Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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