So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
