Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
we should paint friendship bongs
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