I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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