Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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