I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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