i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
