So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Who died my cat blue again?
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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