does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
