i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
