My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
