So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
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