I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
