Whatcha textin bout Willis?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
