so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
