Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
i now understand why vodka
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
