last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
