Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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