this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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