If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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