You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Randomize
