I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
