I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
