coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
