I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Randomize
