OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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