does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
