oh god the rape fog is back!
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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