True but thats because hes a fetus.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Randomize