I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
