Soap is not a condiment
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
