im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Randomize
