I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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